If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant;
if we did not
sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
~Anne
Bradstreet
I may be jumping the gun a little bit...but we are definitely ready for Spring around here --
a time of GROWTH and RENEWAL!
Today I am having one of those days. You know the kind, right?
The kind where you feel like all you do is
clean
clean clean?
Clean diapers.
Clean floors from potty-training children.
Clean hummus off the table.
Clean hummus off the couch.
Clean counters,
laundry,
bed linens.
All this time spent cleaning UP,
not even deep cleaning!
And I was having an inadequate moment.
A moment (quite a long one)
of why don't I measure up?
Whe can't I figure out how to keep the house tidy
and I'm not talking clean showers, just tidy!
Why can't I figure out how to water the flowers,
maybe weed a little bit,
wash the windows?
do a craft?
shower?
sit on the floor and PLAY with my children?
A bit overwhelemed I guess you could say.
I'm slowly phasing back into life as normal,
and it's tough.
I want to get back into our routine:
breakfast
walk
play
errands
nap
lunch
play
daddy home
bath
bed
relax
But I can't even seem to get through breakfast!
And as I counted down the minutes until the children were alseep,
waiting, just waiting until I could crawl into bed and rest as well,
I heard the birds chirping outside.
The sweet, soft reminder of impending Spring.
Of new life.
And the not so subtle reminder that God has given me new life.
How will I choose to live it?
Will I pass up moments with my sweet babies
to clean the countertops?
I'm aiming not to.
But I'm not perfect.
It's TOUGH being a stay-at-home mom.
We struggle with the day-to-day balance
of just how exactly to be with the children.
It's not all time to sit and play.
And it's not all time to organize, craft, and paint our nails.
I cannot remember the last time I painted my nails.
I can, thankfully, remember the last time I played dollhouse with Emme.
And I think that's what those birds are trying to remind me of now.
With their sweet song.
Be still, be still, be still.
Sit and play.
Throw Bennett up into the air as many times as his giggly 4-month old self wants.
Play hide-and-go seek.
Go on more walks.
Be still, be still, be still
they sing.
Be still and truly listen to your children.
What are they asking me while I am too busy rushing around and trying to get the house tidy?
My God, my God,
forgive me.
For putting too much importance on the unimportant things in life.
Help me to obtain the balance of creating a hospitable and happy home,
while also being with my children.
Let me enter into this new Spring
with a new outlook on life.
Help me not to compare with others,
how much more their life is this or that.
But to let go,
and let You, dear Lord.
Help me truly let You work in my life.
Help me be still.
Help me to implement the balance of being
a wife
a mother
a homemaker
a friend
a daughter
but most importantly,
a child.
A child of God.
Where man sees but withered leaves,
God sees sweet flowers growing.
~Albert Laighton
Help me, Lord,
not to see the withered leaves,
- the dirty floors, the piling laundry, the unmade beds, and the weed, oh the weeds -
but to recognize the sweet flowers growing...
the dollhouse furniture scattered about the house,
the pig eating from his very own bowl of ritz crackers,
the giggling coming from the crib when I let Emme sneak it to wake up Bennett,
the wet footprints tracked through the house after I let her water the flowers.
They may not be sweet flowers to others,
but they are MY flowers,
and I love them.
And God too, sees them growing.
** I blame the majority of the emotion in this post on
potty training!
Anyone else ever felt stir-crazy potty training?
Too much time spent inside,
in our one bathroom,
after two months of sickness
and I need to get out!
